- A Collection of Tom Cruise Haiku

A Collection of Tom Cruise Haiku 12/01/2007

Untitled Document

ittle man, big grin
If his lifts were tall enough
Could he find a clue?

I thought eyes deceived
When a dwarf snatched my Zoloft
But it was Tom Cruise

Demons in my ears?
It's just Tom's fake Irish brogue
In Far and Away

Get Lauer meds, quick
Hope he didn't catch some crazy
Talking to Tom Cruise

It's risky business
Letting Scientologists
Do…hmm, anything

Hey you, Mr. Cruise
Gary Busey called and he
Wants his crazy back

Comments

Tom Cruise Fan Club (Beth)

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 19:13:21

You will be hearing from Tom's lawyer soon. Consider yourself warned.

Just kiddin'. I bet you were scared.. I loved it; do more.

Beth

Tom Foolery

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:43:55

Bravo! I thoroughly enjoyed your Cruise haiku.

Like homophobes and their endless gay bashing tirades, anyone taking such a fervent stance against the "evils" of anti-depression medication must secretly harbor some sort of fascination with the benefits of said evil.

I wouldn't be the least little bit surprised if Tommy Boy currently keeps a few scripts in his wallet, slipped to him "on the down-low" style by one of those shady, Hollywood-type physicians with loose morals. The same kind, I am also convinced, who stock Oprah's impermeable lockbox with a constant supply of Phentermine.

You have a way with words. I can't wait to read more of your work!!

Corinne Bilyeu

Corinne Bilyeu has been prolonging her adolescence for the last five(ish) years. She still has no idea what she wants to do with her life, but she figures she can cut down on watching her beloved Frasier reruns to write some jackass stories.

Corinne was an honors English and journalism student at a state university (does it really matter which one?). After conquering Shakespeare, Blake, Pynchon, and the inverted pyramid, she shifted seamlessly into editing obituaries at a small-town newspaper. As fulfilling as that was, she left the high-stakes world of newspaper copy editing for the even higher-stakes world of editing for a litigation consulting firm (i.e., became a complete sellout).

Corinne resides in Chicago, Illinois, and can generally be found loudly conversing with strangers at a local dive bar.

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Corinne Bilyeu

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